Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Oh wait - he got blasted in the face by his own teammate and then cherry-picked like Agent Beer-o in a Tuesday night basketball showdown.
Monday, March 5, 2012
We here at Made 'Em Jump celebrate haircuts. The former "Agent Hiro" always keeps a fresh shape-up and the former "Agent Beero" has a mop to set your watch to. So it's only appropriate for us to comment on the amount of attention follicles have received during the current NBA season. J.R. Smith's inspired and meta tribute to the socioeconomic divide in China was well received by the internets, but we'd like to call your attention to a different, local phenomena...Jan Vesely's flowbee-doo.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Former #1 overall, meet your replacement. Cake revenge is a bitch.
Yours in blood,
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
- Saving Hockey
- Not wearing these
During the current Stanley Cup play-offs "Rock the Red" parties are everywhere, but probably most impressive is the devoted following from the ladies. Nevermind the fact that this website is obvioulsy a shameless marketing ploy and our boys are posing for glamour shot-esque photos - the more important takeaway is that these guys are gettin 'em wetter than a zamboni.
The photo above was taken immediately after game 6 - Ovechkin had to satisfy his needs.
On the other hand, Sid the Kid fulfilled his nickname, by calling Gary Glitter.
GET 'ER DONE CAPS. Game 7 tonight - look for a tight one....
Friday, May 8, 2009
We always knew he was a good guy, who has the best interests of Wisconsites and wild animals at the forefront of his heart.....
Look at this smile - who could ever believe he would come back to screw over Packers fans?
Look at those beady little eyes - we're sure he had at least 2-3 full thoughts during the course of his life.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
"He's like a BIG KID out there..."
"He's a gun-slinger..."
"He LOVES the game of football..."
Let's address each shameless lie in order:
- "Big-kid": Implies his disposition is innocent. Nothing could be farther from the truth. This guy is the most calculating, image whore this side of Alex Rodriguez. KSK did a superlative job of deconstructing this female-napkin.
- "Gun-Slinger": if this is a euphemism for a brain-dead interception machine...then I have no complaint. If it so happens to mean something other than chucking 40 yrd lame ducks into double coverage, then may I please direct your attention to the following exhibits:
- "LOVES the game of FOOTBALL": the only thing Farves loves is himself and a comfortable pair of WRANGLER JEANS....and possibly the other little nuances that make life in Hattiesburg Mississippi so delightful!
Farve is a pompus ass-hat, whose sole reason for returning to football AGAIN is to avenge the blow dealt to his ego by Packers GM Ted Thompson 2 summers ago when he said*:
"You know what Brett Farve? Go pound sand you fucking begrizzled ass-fister. This organization is bigger than you and your shitty denim. We've got Sir Schnozzola on the sidelines just waiting to drop bombs to Greg Jennings. You think you can hold a big city like Green Bay Wisconsin hostage? Well you can't - now go cut your lawn and look for the dignity you lost long ago."
And that's why Ted Thompson is an adjunct editor of this site. Good day to you sirs.
* Not anywhere close to what he said.